Sitting on my office floor, with all my old prayer journals around me. While reading these journals for a future project, tears began to stream down my face. While the little dog under my office table stared at me, I sat there with teary eyes and a fearful heart. Fear that I'll always be struggling with something. Struggling with myself, my walk, my journey, my hope, and my future.
In all this fear as I read each page, I then saw how many things I wrote out that I am currently living. I am living the hope of women writing books, of having a ministry, of giving back, and a lot more. However, I didn’t think it would be this way. I saw this all with an easy life, very comfortable.
As I sat on the floor crying, I realized that at times this walk is anything but comfortable. It requires faith in all areas. I’ve been waiting for the comfortable season to make me feel good. To make life easier. I’ve been waiting for the loss or testing season to pass so I can say I passed, but the truth is, I don't think that's God's plan.
I believe God wants us to stop waiting for the season to pass to become happy. Or waiting for the season to pass to give more. Or the season to pass to plan that event. He wants us to do the hard things now. To plan out the payments when you don’t have the money. To love even when it’s hard. To forgive when they didn’t apologize. To face the truth even when you are scared. To not wait for the season of lacking to pass, but to face the need, face the struggle, face the areas you fell short, and get back up.
Maybe all this struggle was meant to teach me this. That no matter if it’s been a month or 40 years in the wilderness. It’s not about where you are, but what you do with where you are. You can lie down and attempt to sleep the days away. You can find the newest addiction to grab ahold of, or you can face the situation and work your way out of it. You can begin to build again, you can begin to dream again, gain a new perspective and vision for your life.
This is up to you…
So maybe one day you’ll be sitting in answered prayer crying because it didn’t come packaged how you wanted it, only to realize it came how you needed it to come. It came to teach you how to keep going even when the seasons haven’t changed. It came to teach you to become creative when the income isn’t covering the bills. It came to bring you new ideas. It came to help you.
The thing you thought was sent to break you, is actually what God will use to make you even better.
“Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,”
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