I know right now you don’t understand why your hair isn’t straight like your mom’s, and why some kids are mean to you about your skin color or hair. I know how badly you want to be a little White girl, so maybe you can be beautiful to boys. I know you don’t understand fully why you got held back in the 4th grade. I know it embarrasses you when kids mention it or laugh about it. I know you feel like the fat sister. I know how much you disliked getting compared to your sister by everyone.
I know it’s hard to have an absent father and then an abusive step-father. I know it’s scary some nights. I know you have moments when you want to die. I know you're just a scared little girl, but I want you to know…
One day all those Easter dresses Grandpa bought for you will matter.
One day that little Indian church and baptism will matter.
One day that teacher that challenged you, but was so kind to you, will matter.
One day that principle that would encourage you will matter.
One day that childhood friend's Grandpa who made you go to church with them, will matter.
I know in all your fears you think there's no hope, but actually one day, you’ll meet someone in your dorm as a freshman in college, and your life will forever be changed. This someone is Jesus. This personal encounter you have with God will change the trajectory of your life. All the pain you encountered, all the nights you cried, all the screams and fighting, all of it will be used for good.
This guy named Jesus will heal you. Not quickly but slowly, gracefully, and lovingly. He will speak new words to you, give you new ideas, and a hope for your future. Drinking, partying, and a lot of other things will fall out of your life without you even realizing it. You will then look up and see that broken little girl is now a woman of faith. Her pain, her story will help millions. Her dreams will be accomplished, and in every season, every pain, every setback, and every fear you’ll see just how Jesus uses it to make you better.
So, to my younger self, little Morgan… “eyes have not seen, ears have not heard all the plans God has in store for those who love him”.. Everything will be okay.
You are safe. You are strong and you are loved.
“..eyes have not seen, ears have not heard all the plans God has in store for those who love him”
1 Cor. 2:9
Try the Prayer Journal Prompt and watch "What I'd Tell My Younger Self"