Sitting on my bed during the night with soft relaxing music playing in the background and reevaluating life. Like am I really doing God's Will? Am I in good standing? Why does my life feel like shambles? Why do I always feel wrong or guilty? Will I ever live a free purposeful life in Christ? Is my visions of my life true?
All these questions flood my mind, but no answers. Great, I am stuck once again waiting for a sign or door from God to give me guidance and yet once again He is Silent! I get frustrated and overwhelmed thinking of my future and all my passions although, my bank account doesn’t reflect it. I get lost in the darkness of anxiety and fear and once again I am crippled. Those strong emotions overtake me and I get so afraid that I abandon God's will and truth and Run after my own.
I run for so long until I am riding on fumes and I am long overdue to fill up on His Word, Love, and Presence. Finally, I crack! I break down crying to Abba (Father) saying "I can’t do this myself"! I am weak and these inner feelings of anxiety and emptiness are sucking the very life out of your once vessel.
I fall, I break, I cry and I get back up, but this time wiser. This time I stand up not just seeking my will, but His will. This time I stop running to my natural sight, but I believe in the things unseen. This time I stop worshiping my life or my gifts and Worship the God of the Gifts. This time I pass the test! Not running to my usual cop out, but sticking in it and believing that God will bring all
things to pass.
Releazing that the questions that linger in my mind do not have to keep me awake at night.That I can have peace in knowing that His grace is made sufficient for me and If I trust in the Lord and lean not onto my own understanding while acknowledging Him in all my ways He will direct my paths (Prov. 3:5-6). I will have a peaceful rest and all my heavy burdens will be lifted.
It is through the Word and Faith of God that we will be able to withstand the testing of our faith. If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar season just know He is with you, Loving on you Guiding you every step of the way! Trust Him. Acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths!
-Morgan Tracy J.
Need More Inspiration watch "Silently Lost"