For the past three to five years I forgot how to live. No, I didn’t stop breathing, but I stopped living. I would spend all night in front of a computer screen. I would say “no” to outings because I felt like I didn’t deserve to have fun. I truly felt like my life wasn’t great so I didn’t deserve to enjoy life. I needed to work. I needed to stay alone until I was the woman I should be. And quickly the years went by and the thought of just doing something for me seemed odd. Like going out to eat alone buying myself a new bag, or going to an event and dancing. All of it seemed so odd.
I went months just being alone until I began to push myself to live.
I wanted to walk my dog at this local park, but fear wouldn’t let me. I wanted to try the new spa, but fear of “do I have enough to do that for myself?” wouldn’t let me.
I realized that truly living my life was always going to challenge me to step out of my normal routine and comfort zone into a new one. When I was no longer afraid to live again, I was ready to try the things I had been wanting to try for years.
Like going to take photos in the garden.
Vlog in public.
Launch a magazine.
Get an office.
Feel confident enough to talk on camera.
All these little things I could finally do thanks to making one decision that I was going to live my life. Not just feel stuck or alone. Nor keep me stuck and alone. I decided if I had a desire to do something, I would do it. If I wanted to go for a 1-mile walk or jog, I would lay out my clothes the night before. If I want to cook more meals each week I will look up recipes I want to try and tackle them, just one recipe as time allotted.
Honestly, I made up my mind to stop overthinking. When the idea came, I would just go for it. No more telling myself I can’t or it’s not the right time or I need more money, but just making the decision to make it happen.
Living starts with realizing that the enemy came to destroy, but God came to give you a life of abundance.
You never know all the possibilities, experiences, and amazing things that await on the other side of your fears and limitations.
I hope that you live and challenge yourself every day to create a moment that made you truly feel like you lived.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."