Lying on the floor on my knees, humbly broken before God, heart wide open with all my egocentric ways staring me in the face. I saw how my daily rituals made me feel okay, but still, His presence was far from me. I realized my busy schedule was overshadowing the power of God. My busy mind clouded God’s prompting. I finally saw what I had been blind to for so long...God loved me, but I wasn’t in love with Him.
This was a hard pill to swallow, and I got all this revelation while fasting. I was choosing to give up food and my ministry for 3 days to seek the face of the Lord. I thought it was for my ministry, but it was really for my heart. I fasted, prayed, and studied; not perfect but in Him.
I was overwhelmed with the grief of nothingness. I felt like my life meant nothing without my ministry or food, but He was showing me what it feels like to be without Him…empty, purposeless, and lost.
It gets hard to get out of bed, and you wonder what the purpose of life is. That's when you get far from His Presence.
It was at this time, that on the 4th day of my fast, my heart shifted.
It shifted from “I'm called” to “Thank you for calling me”.
It shifted from “I’m saved” to “Thank you for saving me”.
It shifted from “I’m healed” to “Thank you for healing me”.
It shifted from “I’m over that” to “Thank you for getting me through that”.
When God's love overwhelms you, all you can say is “Thank You”.
Thank You for loving us at our worst.
Thank You for calling us out of old places.
Thank You for the heartbreak.
Thank You for the setback.
Thank You for the healing.
Thank You for the restoration.
Thank You for never leaving me even when I wanted to leave myself!
It’s not just words, it’s a heart shift, and that's when the love you hadn’t been able to accept comes flooding back in. If you feel stagnant in your walk with God, pray for a heart shift, then fast and watch God shift it.