I’ve been away in the country for almost two weeks, and a lot takes place at my Mama’s table, from deep talks to morning coffee, and honestly, a lot of healing.
I have realized that for many years I stopped believing in God for an inward healing. Not just the healing of a broken bone, but the healing of a broken heart. I say this because, in reality, for many years I felt like if I tried to be a perfect Christian, then I’d get healed and all the struggles on the inside of me would go away.
So, I left relationships, practiced sexual purity, removed drinking alcohol, removed recreational drugs, stopped going to clubs, etc. I did all of this in an attempt to heal and be a better person.
The reality was, these were great sacrifices, but the desire to be perfect in the eyes of God doesn’t automatically mean you will be a restored, whole, renewed, transformed Christian.
I realize today that the younger version of me just didn’t know. I didn’t know that all God wants is your heart, and when He has that, He has all the rest of you. When we love God in return, our actions aren't out of religion but out of a heart that desires to love God with our whole life.
The reality is, no good deed can take the place of a heart that loves God. The reality is, I kept running to mark something new off the list that I have conquered when my heart was what needed healing. My heart didn’t need another thing to sacrifice, but my heart needed to be surrendered and willing to go through the surgery with God.
A lesson I gained from my Mama’s table is to get the healing now! You don’t want to look up and have everything you prayed for, but the vessel is empty. The vessel is depressed. The vessel is oppressed.
Today, seek God for a true supernatural healing of the heart, because once you heal on the inside, everything on the outside will align.
If you need inward healing, just say this to God and He will begin the work of rejuvenation in your life. “Jesus, I give you all of me, even the not-so-pretty parts [Name the specific area you need healing], that I try to run from. I ask that you do a supernatural healing in me Lord. Go to the root of my pain. Go to the root of my sorrow. Go to the root of my depression. Go to the root of my anxiety. Go to the root of my anger. Go to the root of my fears and pluck them out of me. God, reveal to me, ME and begin your healing work over my life. I want to be made new without the lens of this pain or trauma. Heal me in Jesus name.”
"Daughter, Your Faith has made you whole, Go in Peace and Be healed of