All these years, I've sat down with a pen in my hand and my heart on my sleeve before God. Day after day I'd come to God ready to pour out my heart to him through prayer journaling. Honestly, I began prayer journaling to God because speaking to Him was weird for me at the beginning of my walk. Sharing college dorm rooms made it hard to pray out loud, so, I built my prayer life through writing.
Through every season of my life my prayer journal has caught it all. From the heartbreak, to the purging, to releasing soul ties, to healing trauma, to my biggest wins like discovering my ministry’s name and then launching it, I would write about it.
Although, all these years of journaling, I've challenged myself to never hold myself back when prayer journaling. To not be the perfect Christian girl, but to be the honest, raw, struggling-with-her-faith or purity-Christian girl. I have challenged myself to not filter my writing because these conversations with God are meant to be honest and not always beautiful worded or praises.
Now over nine years later I still write daily. It’s not as structured with prayer prompts, it's just my hearts message on the pages journal. From my heart to Gods ears, I write out my messages day after day. Most times it's mornings, other times it's when I need a break in my day or at night before bed. I love journaling to God about my fears, doubts, highs, lows, wins, and failures. Addressing these to God gives me the strength to give over to Him, and then the faith to wait on the Lord.
After all these years what I've realized is that every journal holds specific chapters in my story.
Every journal reveals my thoughts, desires and needs for that particular season.
Every journal revels if my heart was seeking God or seeking other things.
Every journal reveals if my focus was on God or gaining prosperity through myself.
Every journal reveals if I was running from God or running to Him.
Over and over again I see that my journal doesn't reflect a perfect-christian woman, but a woman that has failed on numerous occasions, but never stopped praying and never stopped trusting in the Lord.
Prayer journaling has taught me to wait on God, even in all my doings and working, deciding to trust Him. Every-time I sit down ready to pour out, this is me once more deciding to put my trust fully back in God.
Every-time I write, I am deciding to release, to surrender, to trust and to get filled back up with the inspiration, encouragement and wisdom of God.
I pray that prayer journaling helps you discover a more intimate relationship with Jesus like it has done for me.
"She has not acknowledged that I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and gold-- which they used for Baal."