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Years ago, sitting in my parents home, I was lost. I was 24 with all these exact same dreams and goals I have today, but I was stuck. I gained over 30 extra pounds from emotional eating. I was heartbroken after a breakup and I felt so unworthy.
This season I mention is actually the catalyst that got me to where I am today. I realized in this season, with the missing teeth, the added weight, and insecurities that my life could stay in this mentally stuck place or move into all God had for me.
This shift in my life first started with facing lies that I was believing.
The first lie was that God had forgotten about me.
That He gave me all these dreams and desires then just left me in an awful state. I believed that He wouldn’t save me, that He didn’t care about me. Although this was a lie, I believed it and went around for months feeling like God was distant and out of reach, when He was actually living in me and moving powerfully. I just couldn’t see it.
Next, I had to stop telling myself the lie that I had done something wrong.
I would look at my life and weigh out all my good deeds thinking, why is this happening to me, when the truth is, it needed to happen. I needed this season to prepare me for the next. I needed the pain, the anxiety, the depression, to help someone else come out of it. It was all for my ministry.
Lastly, I had to stop waiting and start working.
This meant literally taking action to get closer to the ideas and visions I kept seeing in my head. Really, all I did was use faith and put a seed in the ground. For two years I put my hand to the plow and worked like a crazy person. I worked on my ministry while working a full time job. I knew what I wanted to be and what I wanted to accomplish, so I cut out dating and extra activities in order to focus.
Somehow in all that work, and all that faith, I looked up and saw a changed woman.
A woman of faith was born.
A woman with a backbone and a vision.
A woman that wouldn’t just settle for a sorta-kinda-right life, man, finances, or anything else.
I went from a woman that was afraid of life to a woman that embraced it and went beyond where I was in that moment.
The shift didn’t happen overnight, but rather it happened gradually, and continues to happen. A faint whisper in the night once again tells me that it’s time for another shift. This means...keep working, and increasing your faith, and watch and see the Glory of the LORD!
My hopes are that you will look up from the normalities of life and dream a new dream. Go for something out of your reach that requires faith and true surrender to God.
Weekly Scripture
"Daughter, Your Faith has made you whole, Go in peace and be healed of your Affliction"
Mark 5:34
