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Months have gone by and all I've known is to work on the vision in my heart. I’ve known to get to the end of myself and give it all back to God. This is something that is now engraved in my heart.
However, somewhere along the journey I lost sense of the real me. The true Morgan. Not, the Morgan with a full face of makeup and prepared sermon, but the Morgan without makeup or a sermon.
The YouTube Channel and Ministry all started because my life was my ministry. My everyday life, my everyday mistakes, flaws and blessings were all a testimony to what God can do.
Sadly, along the journey my ministry became my life. So much so that social gatherings didn’t matter, connecting with others I had no desire for, and living a full life now I didn't desire, only the ministry.
Until one day I heard to stop. To just stop the ministry. To take a break and in that I realized, I didn’t know what to do. God revealed that my life was no longer the ministry, but the ministry was my life. The first day without touching the ministry I felt depressed. I had no purpose and nothing to do…
Then that inner me, that true real me was louder than ever. This is what I was led to...
I took a two week vacation and drove back to my hometown and got clarity, peace and love. Instead of just soldiering through, I trusted God and stopped the production to find me again.
This is what I found:
1. Slowing Down is the key to seeing God.
I saw God in nature, in family, in love, in my finances, and in my purpose again. When I quit the hustle and bustle God showed up. When I quit and surrendered, God showed out! When I slowed down and just started to embrace life again God became more apparent.
2. Reconnecting is the door too healing.
I visited family and friends. I laughed so much, stayed up late with Mama, cried tears over an ex, and played superheroes with my nephews. I realized that connection, mutual respect and love is the key to many of our healings. Smiling at my Father, playing with my dog, laughing with my Mama, visiting my Grandma, and riding with my sister was the answer to many of my prayers.
3. Love is The Answer
When I felt uncertain about my future, when I saw an email about a deadline and even when I felt discouraged about my walk with God, I leaned on Love. When I saw my nephew upset, I carried him with Love. When I felt hurt in my heart, I let go in love. When I drove on the backroad of Oklahoma praising God, I did it in love. And when I looked up at the beautiful sky and big puffy clouds, all I sensed was Love.
Finding Me Again started with slowing down long enough to embrace the Love of God already present in my life.
For any woman feeling like she has lost herself along the way, you will find yourself again, you will be whole again, but this time all in His Love!
Scripture
"Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together."
Col. 3:14
