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The Pain of Learning a Hard Lesson

“The hardest lesson you’ve learned will be turned into the biggest blessing you’ve received”

Sitting on the end of the couch while the summer thunder rattles through my little apartment. The dog sleeps peacefully while my watermelon-scented candle reflects off the window in the distance. In this moment, I can’t help but be grateful for the many hard lessons I've had to learn as a woman. See, hard lessons can come with a lot of pain, but they help us discover who we really are and what we are capable of becoming. 

At fifteen years of age I got into a relationship with a grown man. This man had no business entertaining me, but nonetheless, my 15 year-old little heart and my daddy issues grabbed tightly to the first older man that gave me attention. This felt like a love story for the ages, but really it was going to be one of my first hard lessons about relationships.

I would love to say I walked away from that relationship unfazed, but the truth is, I didn’t. My heart was broken, my confidence was shattered, and I truly believed I couldn’t be anything without this man. I felt that my greatness and a life of goodness were only attainable through this relationship. Boy, was I wrong!

This hard lesson was actually one of the biggest lessons of my life. I learned that the man wasn’t the goldmine…I was. I learned that his approval wasn’t what I needed. But only God's approval. I learned that I didn’t have to change myself to be more suitable for him. I didn’t have to dim my light, hide my beauty, or even hide behind the insecurities he was putting on me. 

I learned most of all to be willing to lose the man in order to maintain my dignity. To be willing to walk away from relationships that have run their course. To be willing to cry the tears as long as that means I'm accepting the reality of moving forward.


Some of the hardest lessons in life were my biggest blessings because I discovered more and more that I was becoming a woman of strength, dignity, love, courage, compassion, and grace. I was becoming the woman God had called me to be.

Today, I urge you to look back on the hard lessons of your life and see how they have helped shape you to become the woman you are today. Also, never forget that the things that we have thought were setbacks were actually the perfect setup for a powerful comeback!

Genesis 50:20

 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

“You must be willing to lose a man, to maintain your dignity”- R.C. Blakes

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